All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy. – Dr. Wayne Dyer
I really, really appreciate this quote. What if we thought of the occurence of blame as starting point, a lens through which to look INSIDE at the thoughts and feelings of helplessness or struggle that are underneath our feelings of pain (sadness, humiliation, anger etc). This opens up the doorway to a true path of healing: honesty about our expectations, needs, replaying of past scripts etc.
This doesn’t mean we don’t speak truth or draw boundaries or leave painful situations. It just means that we embrace as our most worthy task the transformation of our own hearts and minds. That is the only source of true peace. Like Paul says in Philippians 4, there is a purposeful and prayerful peace that passes understanding and that GUARDS OUR HEARTS AND MINDS IN CHRIST JESUS.
I wish you well on this peace-making journey. Whether we cross paths in coaching or in forgiveness or other spirituality classes, I look forward to supporting your work.